"Nowadays, men are more refined, and there is nothing wrong with women." Xiao Zhang, a graduate from Communication University, said frankly in an interview with the media, "I don't think modifying myself is just a woman's patent."
As Xiao Zhang said, in this era of the supremacy of beauty, cosmetics, beauty care, medical beauty and other consumer behaviors are no longer exclusive to women. More and more straight men join the huge consumer ranks, and they are beginning to live more delicately than girls.
As early as 2018, JD.com teamed up with Vipshop to propose de-gendered consumption for the first time. This is particularly prominent among the post-90s and post-95s young groups. Men actively pursue exquisite makeup and fashion styling.
Relevant industry statistics show that from 2016 to 2019, the average annual growth rate of retail sales of male skin care products and cosmetics in mainland China reached 13.5%, which is higher than the world average of 5.8%. The size of the Chinese male cosmetics market has reached 15.4 billion yuan .
According to new oxygen data, the proportion of Chinese male medical beauty consumers in 2018 was 11.12%, although it was slightly lower than the international 13.8%. But their average customer unit price is 7025 yuan, 2.75 times that of women. In 2019, the number of new oxygen male consumers increased by 52.30%.
However, exquisiteness is not simply manifested in spending a lot of money to walk into beauty institutions, use luxury skin care products, wear thousands of clothes and carry tens of thousands of brand-name bags. There are extremely high demands on oneself and life, and treating oneself well within one's ability is even more exquisite.
Being able to keep oneself and the place clean in a busy life is the exquisiteness of an Internet social animal; it is exquisite to spend tens of thousands of yuan for beauty and micro-plastic surgery for anti-aging; it is a kind of uniqueness to get rid of bad habits and insist on sports and fitness. Some are exquisite; the student party who spends a few hundred dollars on skin care products and insists on skin care is also exquisite.
How serious are men to be refined? What kind of experience is it like to be an exquisite man or a boy who is exquisite enough to make you breathtaking? Under the multiple pressures of work, study, life, etc., what is the power that makes these straight men go further and further on the road of exquisiteness?
The following is their story.
"Seriously, my roommate, a boy who is exquisite inside and out, I haven't met a second one anyway."
I don't know if this is considered exquisite in people's mouth, but some habitual details of his usual life are not enough to describe it as clean and tidy.
He will pay attention to all aspects of cleanliness. The desk is absolutely clean, the bedroom is absolutely clean, the shoe rack and the wardrobe are absolutely clean. Every time the clothes were dried, he even flattened the clothes as if they were ironed.
Say a few small details. On the first day of the shared lease with him, he was lent a car to move house. Unlike most people who move house, the large and small bags are scattered. He has several suitcases for spring, autumn, winter, and summer clothes, and the scattered small pieces are used for storage. The boxes are packed, and the shoes are neatly stacked in shoe boxes. Because there are so many things, the trunk can’t fit, so he put all the shoe boxes on the back seat.
In the storage of clothes and shoes, the cleanliness is beyond imagination. I have never seen a closet so neat and tidy.
All the clothes are folded like Uniqlo, T-shirts, shirts and sweaters are sorted into categories, arranged by color number, and socks are arranged neatly. The 4-piece bed linen and quilt cover will be placed in a dust bag after washing and drying. Every time I opened the closet, it was as clear as a mind map on the scene.
Not to mention the care of the shoes, after all, the shoe boxes are spotless.
He is a person who loves to buy shoes. Before going out every day, he will choose which pair of shoes to wear today according to his collocation of the day. The first thing he does when he comes back from get off work every day is to polish the shoes. On rainy days, he will deliberately choose old shoes as his own rain boots, although his old shoes are still bright white. The shoes that have been worn for 2 years look brand new and bright.
His daily routine is that no matter how late or tired after get off work, Ge You is paralyzed in bed. He still shines shoes and washes the clothes of the day. He is the kind of person who can never stay overnight with dirty clothes.
Because I keep a cat and often shed a lot of hair, he will spend a lot of time to get all kinds of sticky hair. His bed has to be glued regardless of whether there is cat hair or not, and clothes are frequently removed. Especially in winter, the coat is easy to stick to the hair, and he will roll it with the hair stick several times a day.
Of course, the skin care is also considered exquisite. The water-based spray sunscreen is complete, and the skin care products are simple and scientific. But in my opinion, he is completely the kind of boy with good skin and no additional maintenance.
Perhaps under the influence of my mother, I have been imperceptibly paying attention to the modification of my appearance since I was a child.
My mother loves cleanliness very much, even to the point of being hygienic. When I was a child, if I went out to fight with friends and got my clothes dirty, my mother would beat me up.
But the one thing that has the deepest impact on my pursuit of "exquisiteness" was caused by a pigsty. One year during the summer vacation at my grandma's house, I went out to play with my cousin and cousin. When I went home to eat, I was curious when I saw the pig sty next to me. As a result, I accidentally fell into the pig dung pond covered with pig dung. They fished me out and took me home. My mother beat me up and bathed me many times. Finally, she didn't worry about throwing me in the basin for a long time.
This incident has become the joke of my life, and I am still being asked to say something from time to time when I meet. This has also become my psychological shadow. Since then, I have become very clean and focus on personal image. If one day my classmates say that the clothes I wear are not good-looking, I can hardly concentrate on listening to the class all day long, I just think that the clothes are ugly.
This problem has continued to the present, so in order to keep myself in the best condition every day, I try to maintain a good dressing and a good face.
At the university, refinement began to upgrade. The dressing should be carefully matched, and it is best to keep the same clothes within three days. My mother once said that I had wrinkles at the corners of my eyes when I laughed, so I spent a lot of energy on anti-aging, and I had to buy imported anti-wrinkle eye creams to save money. I couldn’t bear the growth of fine lines on any part of my face. Do everything possible to get it off.
After graduation, with financial resources, you will be more comfortable in exquisiteness. Facing the high-end cabinet sister, I am not guilty anymore, and can easily afford the cost of high-end skin care products. When I was 26 years old, I obviously felt that my facial aging was accelerating. I woke up in the morning and found my muscles sagging a little in the morning.
Come to think of it, when I decorate myself, most of my expenses are spent on anti-aging, such as micro-plastic surgery and other medical beauty. There are also imported eye creams, facial creams, masks, etc., in terms of anti-aging, I am no better than a delicate pig Girls spend less energy. However, the expenditure on dressing is relatively small. The main requirement is that the clothes are decent and high-quality, just a few more clothes, and they do not advocate luxury goods.
I always feel that dressing appropriately is a respect for others and also makes myself more confident. When I am socializing outside, I also prefer to talk to people who are tasteful and particular. This is an inner instinct. And I am afraid of getting old because when I face a wrinkled face, it always reminds me silently that time flies, I am no longer a child.
Now, the living environment and material conditions are different from before. When I have the ability to become a little more refined, I will try to maintain a young face. In this world, it is not uncommon for boys to love beauty. In Korea, a considerable number of boys wear makeup when they go out on the street. It's just that Chinese men are ashamed to spend too much time and energy on their faces because they are influenced by traditional concepts. They always feel that they are too motherly, and they are afraid of being pointed.
In my opinion, exquisiteness is an attitude to life. Improve and change oneself within the limits of one's ability, and have expectations and persistence every day in a mediocre and busy life.
In the past, relying on being young, relatively relaxed, often participating in various social entertainments, living very irregularly, gradually gaining weight, "beer belly" was very obvious, but because I was lazy at that time, I always found various excuses, thinking that being young is the capital. It doesn't matter what the figure is. Sooner or later, he can recover, and he never cared about it.
It wasn't until one time when our high school classmates met that they all smiled and said that I looked like a "big leader" in my 40s, with a fat head and big ears, that I was surprised to become a "greasy man" It makes me feel very sad.
After I came back from the class reunion, I made up my mind to start working out and losing weight. I made a detailed fitness plan for myself. I applied for a fitness course, trained strictly in accordance with the arrangements of the fitness coach, and controlled my diet. I think my biggest advantage is being able to persist. From that day on, I will go to the gym every day. Even if I work overtime until 12 o'clock, I will still go to the gym for an hour after get off work. I quit smoking, reduced unnecessary entertainment, strictly controlled my diet, and insisted on checking in for exercise every day. In just three months, I lost 30 catties, and my body fat percentage dropped from 40 to 27, so people who saw me were amazed "too self-disciplined".
In the eyes of my friends, I am the "inspiring young man" beside me.
After exercising, my attitude towards life has also changed a lot. In work and life, I am very disciplined. I like to set some small goals for myself, such as how often to read a book, how often to travel, etc., and insist on achieving it. Every time you achieve a small goal, give yourself a small reward. I enjoy this life that improves every day.
I didn’t like cleaning very much before. My room was always messy, and I didn’t pay much attention to personal image when I went out every day. Now I have completely changed my attitude towards life. I keep my home clean and tidy every day. I also maintain a good personal image and also use skin care products. After all, a good mental outlook can give people a good impression.
I very much agree with the sentence I saw on the Internet, "There is a thing that has nothing to do with interests and I like and can persist in doing it, and I can maintain my best side in work and life." This is what I think is a refined life.
Men's spending power is not as good as dogs. This is a joke in the e-commerce industry, but it also reflects the public's stereotypes about men's consumption.
From the perspective of ordinary people, I should be regarded as a more "exquisite" boy. When I learned that I would spend 3,000 yuan to get my eyebrows and 6,000 yuan to buy clothes, many friends and colleagues would be surprised and ridiculed. I, some friends bluntly said that I am "exquisite and poor", and there are girls friends who are "ashamed of themselves".
But in fact, this is just a sense of contrast. In fact, most boys are not so shabby and pay attention to their appearance, but they may not spend so much, especially in this "face-seeing era", even from the perspective of interest. Consider that attention to appearance is also an investment behavior with a good rate of return.
I think these consumptions should not be defined as "exquisite", or all behaviors that can make oneself better can be in the category of "exquisite", such as reading, making good friends, exercising, raising cats, planting flowers Planting grass, any healthy hobby, can make people "exquisite", and the time and money invested in these are naturally reasonable.
Compared to reading, making friends, and cultivating hobbies, I think it’s relatively harder to improve my appearance. It’s natural, especially because of heredity. My skin is very poor. Sometimes I also develop inferiority complex due to my appearance. Some of his frustrations are attributed to this. The more unavailable, the easier it is to care. Therefore, I will invest energy in this aspect to change, and many detours have been taken in the process.
One of the biggest misconceptions in the past is that all hopes are placed on a one-time adjustment, but I usually don’t pay much attention to maintenance. I once imagined that when I grow up and get rich, the plastic surgery technique should also develop very well. , Then it will do whatever you want.
I can only blame myself for being too young. Later, I learned that bone removal is the highest-risk surgery and may be life-threatening. Even the simplest improvement of skin texture requires long-term investment to make a little change. It cannot be done overnight. I have just started to learn skin care methods systematically. I often read the experience of beauty bloggers. I have met various brands of water and sunscreen essence. I am more familiar with Sephora than some girls. Study outfits.
For example, cultivate some niche hobbies and try more interesting lifestyles. If people are always willing to be a salted fish, what is the point?
"I didn't think that this kind of lifestyle was exquisite, I just felt comfortable."
In fact, I have not always been the kind of boy that everyone has stereotyped, and it just so happens that I also run into classmates who are similar to my habit. I still remember when I was in college, the dormitory of 8 people, most people would think that the men’s dormitory was terrible, with shoes and socks flying all over the sky, but it was really not. At that time, our dormitory always got excellent school-level dormitories. On the contrary, the dormitories of girls in our class were always criticized.
It was almost 2-3 weeks after the junior year. I established a romantic relationship with a girl from another college. After getting along for about half a year, we moved out and lived together. She is not a very particular girl. I remember that during the time we lived together, I basically folded the clothes. It wasn't that she didn't do it, but I felt that she folded so much that she always folded her clothes during that time. Call me "Uniqlo Tally". Of course, she has also cultivated many other habits of me, such as changing clothes the first thing I go home, getting simple skin care in place, and applying sunscreen when I go out. These are all developed with her.
Later, I joined work and rented with others. There were 3 people living in a two-bedroom house, all male. Because they are all single, and there are not many meals or socializing, eating together at home has become commonplace. At this time, a new habit came again. Because I couldn't stand the kitchen where I finished cooking, I took care of almost all the housework in the kitchen. Including, but not limited to, tidying up all the used pots and pans, chopping boards, props, stoves, etc. after cooking. Anyway, I have to wipe it again if you can think of it. Every time they finished, they almost finished their meal.
The advantage of this is that I basically don't need to pay for the ingredients, and the division of labor is clear. There is another advantage. It has been more than 3 years since I graduated and I haven't changed roommates. Even if their roommates change jobs and are far away from the unit, they do not want to move. Therefore, I also reduced a lot of communication costs with new roommates.
I don't think there is anything special about this kind of living habit, and I don't think it is a waste of a lot of time. More often, I just take my hands and do it, but it does make life and mood a lot happier.
If you have to be exquisite, I feel that applying sunscreen when going out requires more persistence than keeping the house tidy. As far as I know, many girls who think they pay attention to maintenance can't apply sunscreen every day when going out, but I can keep applying it every day, even if I don't go out.
Hehe, is it abnormal?
But the habits of so many years have also made me understand one thing, some things are really in the bones, and it is not easy to change myself nor to change others easily. Yes, I'm talking about my roommates, who have not been influenced by me for more than 3 years. They still live the life of a boy in the impression of a girl.
"Exquisiteness does not mean a mother-to-be."
Although I am a girl, I am a kind of rougher type. Basically, I don't pay much attention to wearing and dressing up. I often go out with sweaters and jeans, and I often feel that I am incompatible with the petty bourgeoisie city.
But there is a good relationship male friend by my side, exquisite to scary, always make me feel "I was born as a female, I am sorry." And a lot of my skin care knowledge is taught to me by this friend, there is one My face was allergic when the season changed, and I went out with a flushed face every day. One day I went out to party with him, and was disgusted for a long time. He took out a small jar from his bag and told me that it was an acid he was using recently. He asked me to apply a little every night. After a month, my skin really became smoother. A few days later, he gave me seven or eight different essences and facial masks for skin conditioning. At that time, I was really stunned again. A boy who is so proficient in skin care and maintenance is really ashamed.
He is the spotless type who usually cleans himself up. He takes care of skin care every day. He uses more skin care products than I do. A few of our friends nicknamed him "Lujiazui Li Jiaqi". In addition to not knowing OMG, there are almost all kinds of images. There are six or seven steps to go out for skin care, from toner, various essences, eye creams, lotions, facial creams to sunscreen, pre-makeup lotion to foundation, makeup powder...
I suspected his sexual orientation at one time, but he firmly told me many times that he is a straight man of steel. This is probably the legendary Tiehan tenderness. But I have to say that he has become a lot more refined with him. From going out in five minutes to focusing on dressing and matching, and then learning skin care and makeup, he has gradually become more refined.
In fact, I think there is nothing wrong with being exquisite for boys, and it does not mean exquisiteness is a sissy, just an attitude to life.
"I don't like to stay the same."
Like to dress up, no one is exception. Not only to become handsome, but also to broaden your circle of friends.
Probably from junior high school, I slowly began to pay attention to my appearance. I have long hair
Really realize the understanding of the word "exquisite" after going to university. I start to pay attention to my own clothes and buy some sneakers I like. Because I often go out to play basketball, I also save money on getting a fitness card. I have bought thousands of sneakers and canvas shoes for 9.9 yuan, and these are all within my ability.
After working now, I will buy some slightly more expensive skin care products when I am self-sufficient, but I will often switch to them. Usually, when you go to work, you don't lose any of the water, milk, or sunscreen. You can also spray some hairspray, wax, and blow your hair. Occasionally, I buy some perfumes, usually around 400 yuan, which can be used for a long time.
In Beijing, we will also decorate the house we rented with my girlfriend, go to the offline IKEA store or buy some wallpapers, lights, carpets, etc. on Taobao. I like this kind of happiness. Home. When it comes to organizing clothes, I'm even more neatly folded than Uniqlo. The shoes you wear will also be immaculate, and the small white shoes are a must-have at home. After all, the house is rented and life is yours.
Maybe these of mine are compared with Li Jiaqi, these are not so refined. But this is already a habit of mine.